From the Kitchen to Kingdom: Reclaiming Dreams
I know my mom always had dreams within her. She loved music and ballet; she could dance anywhere. However, she never truly realized those dreams because, in her time, there were many avenues for people to become famous, but few opportunities to achieve personal fulfillment. Living in Chinese society, she was constantly torn between her parents' expectations, societal norms, and her own sense of self-worth. To navigate these challenges, she often felt compelled to learn how to be a woman through the lens of a man.
Growing up in such a society, I struggle to understand why a woman with a stable job and the ability to support herself cannot feel truly happy. This society seems to suggest that a woman's worth is not determined by her personal efforts or achievements, but rather by whether anyone desires her, despite her talents and capabilities. In her pursuit of personal fulfillment, she often finds herself sacrificing another precious aspect of life.
Especially since Taiwan has been discussing internationalization for years, I have often felt a sense of inferiority within my family, at work, and in society. This feeling intensifies when I encounter other cultures. In those moments, I long for one of my mother's dishes, recalling specific scenes and thinking about the noodle stall in front of the Temple that I used to visit with her. The saddest part is that as my mother has aged, her palate has declined. I have tried to ask her to teach me a few recipes, but they never taste the same as they did in the past.
As you can imagine, I have unfortunately lost the motivation to cook for my loved ones in a life filled with noise; it’s a disheartening feeling. I can work to support myself, but if the world is akin to a forest and I am unable to feed myself, build a fire, and survive, I am starting to understand that if humanity does not create something with its hands, it risks losing its deepest sense of confidence.
I must say that most journeys to Europe in the past were marked by unexpected events. This period coincided with Taiwan's election of its first female president, which symbolized a significant shift in women's consciousness, self-worth, and identity. A woman leading the kitchen opened up discussions in both public and private spheres; however, the atmosphere was tinged with the lingering scent of smoke from a firecracker that had just been ignited.
The times appear to have progressed; however, the gender power dynamics that characterize Chinese society remain deeply entrenched. Testosterone, a force established tens of thousands of years ago, continues to fuel the pretentiousness of some men who rely solely on their physical strength as a measure of their worth. I still find myself facing marriage inquiries from friends and family, with the conversation invariably revolving around the same theme: a woman approaching her thirties should prioritize finding a partner, regardless of her busy career. The prevailing belief is that, despite a demanding professional life, a woman will ultimately need to return to her familial responsibilities, as that is deemed her primary role.
